Monday 4 June 2018

My Life is Lagos Series 3 (Monday Morning Turned B…)

It all started when I left the house this morning. First, I was struggling to meet up with my appointed time. I practically left the house in a haste, wondering if I’d forgotten anything…if only I knew that I’d left my spare eyes at home. 

I entered a bus to the park. I sat at the back seat with some passengers. A man I sat beside was behaving in an irrational way. He had a turban tied around his head. I was just praying internally, hoping that nothing will let loose, if I was thinking right. So, the old woman dressed in white garment alighted at the middle of the road and I shifted to where she sat, at the end corner of the back seat. A nagging woman who sat at the end corner of the middle row wanted me to shift to my former position.

“I’m not moving. Enter and sit there if you want”. I spat at her.

Accepting her defeat, she sat beside the man and the bus drove to the park.

Getting to the park, I entered a red bus again. We started our journey but the Monday traffic was a very big challenge. It wasn’t unusual on a Monday morning and so I sat patiently in the heated bus.
I opened my bag to bring my spectacles, only to discover that I had forgotten it at home.

*Scrunchy face*
First, it is a Monday and I have lined up activities to achieve. How will I do that without my spare eyes? Second, MTN network glitched throughout the weekend…. which made me postpone several activities to the following week at the office, using the office Wi-Fi. 

I was just accepting my fate when the bus halted on the way. The red bus had hit a car again. It was the same thing that happened last week Friday! (Read next episode: The Hopeless Romantic).
Surprisingly, the car driver didn’t argue with that of the red bus. He simply got down from his car, wrote the plate number on the envelope he held and took several shots of the bus. He entered the car and drove away.

The bus drove too…only that the gear started to malfunction. It emitted heat and thereafter, stopped at the middle of the road.

Flashback: When I entered the bus, I had change to give the conductor but I changed my mind, and presented a #1,000 note. I hate hate hate dragging change with conductors but I decided to take the risk. I was up for any fight!
READ ALSO: The Awkward Week 1

The bus couldn’t move anymore. Passengers screamed and demanded for a refund of half the fare. It was then I regretted not giving the change I had. They gathered the conductors and yelled for their money. I screamed at the top of my lungs under the hot sun. I didn’t want any refund. I just wanted my change and shineka…I’ll go my way.

Asif dawan easy? I spent close to twenty minutes begging for my change. At the end nko? I still gave them the change I held in exchange for receiving my balance.

I had wasted my money, time and energy. It was a hot day and I walked past someone holding a chilled bigi soda drink. (Nope Maryam, its Ramadhan!). I walked for another ten minutes to enter another bus. When we proceeded on our journey, I experienced another traffic and I still had to yell to the driver for my change (The language Lagosians understand is a ‘yell’).

Even when we got to where I would alight, the driver had to spend time, begging for change from the passengers. He promised to refund the person when they get to the final bus stop.

A nice man finally gave me and then, I continued my journey. I entered a napep to alight at another destination and walked to where I would get an okada.

It was one aboki I stopped. I told him the name of the street I was going and instead of him to simply say that he had no knowledge of the place, he rode me to Abuja.

I was enjoying the cool breeze as the okada sped off when I widened my eyes to notice that all places were unfamiliar.

It was then I knew that he didn’t even have an idea of where I was going. After taking a journey to and fro Abuja, he arrived at the same spot he picked me and I entered another one, making sure that this one understood where I was going.

READ ALSO: The Awkward Week Two

I spent my time with the man, narrating how the previous okada rider took me to Abuja. I finally arrived at the office, hoping that the good internet will lighten my mood. I was wrong…really wrong.
A really awkward Monday. This is the same person that writes on Morning Cheesecake, saying that ‘Monday sets the vibe for the week.’

Today shouldn’t set the vibe for the rest of the days oo. I need to experience great and inspiring weeks in the month of June.

Watch out for the next episode of My Life in Lagos Series (The Hopeless Romantic).


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