Monday, 22 October 2018

The Blind Date



It was 11:30 PM. Diana laid beside her roommate and focused on her laptop. She had a wide smile plastered on her face and she chuckled intermittently as she clicked steadily on the keyboard.

…HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU, WITHOUT MEETING YOU?
 -Felix Olawale    

IT’S BECAUSE WE HAVE THIS DEEP CONNECTION BETWEEN US.
- Mhiz Diana Unique
                                              
*SMILES* OKAY, I WANT TO SEE MY PRINCESS
 -Felix Olawale    

HAHAHA. FOR REAL?
 -Mhiz Diana Unique

YES LOVE, FOR REAL
- Felix Olawale    

SO TELL ME, HOW DO YOU LOOK? ARE YOU TALL...
 -Mhiz Diana Unique

“Diana!” Oma, her roommate tapped her repeatedly on her back.

“Ehnnn…Oma? You’ve woken up?” Diana drifted her concentration from the laptop to her roommate, who stared at her with groggy eyes.

“I want to pee. Don’t tell you’re still awake because of that your Facebook bobo?” Oma raised her hands at her in a ‘what da heck’ way.

Diana smiled shyly. “Yes oo. He wants to see me,” she sipped from her cup of milk and replied to a new message that popped on her screen.

“You like this bobo so?”

“Yes na,” Diana sits upright, adjusting the hand of her nightgown. “I love him.”

Oma clasped her hands and laughed mockingly. “You sure say you okay? Love kwa? Facebook guy? How many of them don tell me say dem love me ehnn? You better be careful.” Oma queried as she was walking to the toilet.

RELATED ARTICLE: The First Sight.

Diana shrugged nonchalantly and replied to her new messages.

I’M REALLY EAGER TO MEET YOU DIANA. I WANT US TO MEET EACH OTHER AND START A REAL RELATIONSHIP AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
- Felix Olawale    

I’M ALSO EAGER TO MEET YOU. WHEN SHOULD WE MEET?
- Mhiz Diana Unique


Felix typing…

“Are you not going to bed tonight? Remember you have an early morning meeting at work,” Oma said, flopping back on the bed and turning the bedspread over her.

Diana, as if just realizing, freezes her fingers on the keyboard and gasped. “It’s true oo. I have a presentation to make tomorrow morning. I haven’t even revised my papers. Oh my, I need to sleep now.”

FELIX, I’M SORRY…I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW. I HAVE AN EARLY MORNING PRESENTATION.
- Mhiz Diana Unique

PROMISE WE’LL MEET TOMORROW.
- Felix Olawale    

Diana’s eyes widened.

TOMORROW? ISN’T THAT TOO FAST?
                        -Mhiz Diana Unique


IT ISN’T BABY. NOTHING IS TOO FAST ABOUT US. WE LOVE OURSELVES AND THAT’S WHAT MATTERS.
- Felix Olawale    

OKAY, LOVE. I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU.
 -Mhiz Diana Unique

SAME HERE. HAVE A PLEASANT NIGHT REST.
 -Felix Olawale    

BYE.
- Mhiz Diana Unique

Diana closed her laptop and yawned lazily. She glanced at Oma, who had started to snore.

“Okay…I need to sleep now.” Diana switched off the light and laid beside Oma, pulling the covers over her.

‘So I am going to see Felix tomorrow…how will he look like? Will I like him?’she thought, staring blankly at the ceiling.

Tomorrow laid a lot for her. It was the day the company would be sealing a deal with a soap-making company and she had to give the presentation. The presentation that would lead to the success of the business deal. It was also the day that she would meet Felix for the first time; Felix that she had been chatting with for the past three months.

“Tomorrow is the D-day.” She muttered, closing her eyelids.
***
Diana sat at the right end corner seat in Daani Pizza Hut. It was a corner that made her look out through the window and view the outside world.

“It’s to munch on pizza and stare outside. You’ll get this unusual feeling that is mind-blowing.” Diana had told her roommate-cum-friend a number of times.

The presentation…ah, the presentation didn’t go well. She failed…she failed her company. She had done her best in convincing them to seal the contract.

“We’re sorry. There are not enough justifying reasons to convince us in doing business with you.”  One of the men had said.

Diana had given him a scowling look, staring at his bald head and wishing that she would insult him without facing consequences.

“Okay, thank you.” She had said in a very professional way, taking her pile of files and storming out of the conference room.

Her boss had convinced her that she did her best…that it was their own loss that they weren’t convinced with what she had presented.
***
It is the close of work. Diana is in the Pizza hut, waiting for Felix. She believes deep down in her, that it would change everything; that Felix would be just the kind of man that she wants…that she’ll fall deeper in love with him and leave the tag of being called A Hopeless Romantic.

Diana is dressed in a blue-starched suit and palazzo pants. She is wearing the silver jewelry that she had bought on her first visit to Dubai. She is wearing the piece to impress Felix.

Ten minutes is gone and Felix is still out of sight. She sips from her ‘now-cold’ tea and stares outside. She sees a couple; a really young one holding hands as they walk on the street. Rain is drizzling and the man wears his black-leather jacket around his lover’s shoulder. It looks really sweet and Diana cannot help but smile.

“That is what love means. Gosh! I think I’m also in love.” She gushed, picturing the handsome face in the display picture on Facebook.

Felix was smiling and displaying his sparking his set of teeth. He wore a black t-shirt and placed dark-sunglasses on the upper part of his head. She hasn’t seen his full picture but that she has seen is enough to prove that he is really cute and handsome.

It is thirty minutes and Felix is still not in sight. The waitress is looking uncomfortably and she starts to feel nervous. She tries his line and he picks up instantly.

“Hey, babe.” He greets and she could the blaring sound of the car horns. It is very evident that he is still on the road.

“How are you? I’ve been here, waiting for you.” She says on the phone, adjusting the collar of her suit and taking a bite of meat pie.

“I’m sorry babe. I’m almost there…in fact; you will see me in the next two minutes.”

It is two minutes. Felix is walking into the building. He looks different…different from the picture that she had seen on his profile. He is short, stout and very dark in complexion. He is putting on a gray shirt and black trousers. He is wearing leather slippers…one of the things that turn Diana off.

“I’ll roll my eyes at any guy that wear slippers. Like seriously? You cannot wear shoes? If a man approaches me for the first time, it’s his feet that’ll first study before anything else.” Diana had told Oma a week ago.

Felix smiles as he walks slower to where she is sitting. When he gets to her, he bends down and places a kiss on her cheek.

Diana reluctantly obliges. She doesn’t want to cause a scene or look rude in front of the man that she is meeting for the first time. His mouth smells like the refuse bin but she manages to smile and stay composed.

“How was work today?” he asks, taking a seat opposite her.

“Work went well.” She replies, stroking her neatly-packed hair and sipping from her coffee.

‘The coffee is a big disaster. It tastes like poison. This is wrong…everything is wrong. I shouldn’t have come in the first place. I should have listened to Oma’. She thinks

“So how much do you earn monthly?” he asks, fixing his red-coloured eyes on her.

Diana looks dazed. What business does he have with that?

She sips from the cup of coffee she has labeled as tasting like poison and smile awkwardly.

“Why do you ask?”

“I need a loan…been desperately searching for who to borrow me half a million. I know you will since you love me.” He winks at her and she shakes her head in disbelief.

“Ain’t you going to order for something?” she asks.
Felix scrunches up his face. “Nahhh…I hate pizza. It slimes like okro soup.” He wrinkles his forehead and closes his eyes in disgust.

Diana almost burst into laughter. “How about coffee?”

“Too bitter.” He replies, fixing his gaze on her.

Diana knows that it is over…that she has run away from this man as soon as possible. But can she do so?

The man starts to rant about a random thing…something that she is clearly not interested in, and she mentally devises a method of escaping.

“I need to visit the ladies.” She says, standing up from her seat.

“Okay. Don’t stay long baby.” He says and then notices that she has taken her bag and purse along with her. “Are you leaving so soon?”

“No…you know…the time of the month for me.” She laughs loudly and he joins her, his eyes twinkling in pleasure.

“Okay baby, I’ll be right here waiting for you.”



Diana scampers to the ladies section and stands by the lobby, ruminating over what to do. “Should I just jump out of the toilet window? Ah no, I can break my skull or spinal cord…should I remain here till he gets tired and leaves? No, I can stay in the toilet for too long.” She mutters, pacing around and almost shedding tears.

“Why didn’t I just listen to Oma?” she murmurs.
***
It is 30 minutes later and Diana is still stuck in the toilet. She can’t leave there. She can’t return to where Felix is.

“Excuse me, ma’am. I think I can be of help to you.” A female voice calls out.

“Who are you?” Diana retorts.

“A cleaner. I noticed that you’ve been in there for more than 30 minutes and I know why. I can assist you in escaping.”

Diana heaves a sigh of relief as she opens the door to see a chubby petite lady holding a mopping stick and a bucket in the other hand. She smiles graciously and drops what she is holding.

“I’ve been on a blind date. Yours is even okay. I discovered that the so-called handsome and rich man is just a tout that extorts money from bus drivers in Oshodi. In fact, after that incident, I started to see him almost every day at Oshodi.” The cleaner says and they both roar in laughter.

“Thank you.” Diana smiles at her.

“Do not mention.”

Diana opens the door slowly to take a peek at Felix. He is still seated but he is performing an outrageous act. He is dipping a finger into her cup of coffee and tasting it. He takes a bite of the pizza and throws the part he just chewed back to the carton.

“Eww. That’s really gross.” Diana frowns and they both laugh again.

“Let’s get going.” The cleaner holds her bag and leads her through some rows of doors. She enters an empty room and opens a large door. “Here you go. Have a nice time. Do not settle for anything less. Your heartthrob is just on his way.” The cleaner encourages.

“Thank you. Your name?”

“Ife.”

“Nice to meet you Ife.” Diana hugs her and walks to the bubbling street, happy to be free from the blind date.

***
Its night time and Diana returns home to meet Oma frying fish and humming a song. “How did it go?” she calls from the kitchen.

Diana ignores her question and flops on the bed, pulling off the belt of her shoes.

Oma rushes out. “It didn’t go as you have imagined? I was right?” she raises her eyes.

Diana frowns. “Yes Oma, you were right. I shouldn’t have done this.” She says, reaching for her phone and logging into Facebook.
You’re stupid and foolish for leaving me there. Well, you’re lucky to have left or I’d have taught you a very good lesson. Nonsense! Rada rada!!! Good riddance to bad rubbish!!!
–Felix Olawale.

You can’t send a message to this person anymore.

Diana laughs sarcastically, holding her phone. “Imagine oo, he insulted me…then blocked me.”

Oma reaches for the phone and reads it. “Good riddance to bad rubbish Di. He said it himself, that you’re really lucky. Take a shower and let’s have noodles and fish jare.” Oma says, thrusting the phone to the bed and returning to the kitchen.

“I’m still a hopeless romantic,” Diana mutters, pulling off her jacket and releasing the bangs from her hair.

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